Tobia Ziklik

Falling Apart

As I mentioned in my post earlier this month, Arnon and I moved in with his parents after we discovered the giant spider in the house. It was really nice to sleep in a clean and warm room after camping out for so many weeks in our own house.

My in-laws were very kind to us and did their best to make us feel at home, but after about a week, we had to move out. It's always been hard for us to host over-night guests, but it's even harder for us to sleep in someone else's house.

Ultimately, Arnon and I require a lot of space to function sanely and though the house is large and people rarely there, we felt like we were suffocating.

So we checked into a motel and have been there for more than two weeks. Actually, there have been few rooms available in the Silicon Valley hotels and motels, so we've been staying at a new place every one to three days.

It's been really hard having all of our stuff distributed in multiple locations, using the backseat of my car as clothing and laundry storage, and basically living like nomads.

Late last week, I went to work and discovered that I was wearing one black sock and one white sock. Oh, the insanity!

Did I get dressed in the dark? No. Do I even own white socks? No. But we have been doing laundry at a local laundromat so I must have accidentally stolen someone else's sock.

*sigh* ... I have been reduced to a sock-stealing nomad.

Hello Kitty Wedding Bands

Arnon and I don't like wearing wedding bands, or any sort of ring for that matter, but I admit that I like these Hello Kitty wedding bands.

Hello Kitty's face is engraved on the outside of the ring for the ladies and on the inside for men, in case they're shy about wearing Hello Kitty accessories.

Andrew and Liza, it's not too late for you two to consider exchanging these lovely rings on your big day.

Dispute Between Neighbors

Credit: Andrew N.

What's With This Logo?

Credit: Josh H.

Cookie Dough

Credit: Sean

Hello Kitty Contraband

Cute contraband: In San Andre, Guatemala, narcotics agents seized 1.2 tons of Hello Kitty cocaine before it was loaded on a plane bound for Mexico.

Credit: Marc

Yay, Arnon ...

... for surviving his first year at N.E.T.

Congratulations, Ioana and Cayce!

More Motivational Posters

Credit: Anuj

I Want This Car

A while back, Anuj and I were standing out on the seventh floor balcony at work when he pointed out a cute red car that was passing by on the street below. It was so very Hello Kitty and I was sad that I couldn't take a picture of it. Then about a month ago, I saw the same car in the parking garage below Whole Foods.

The car is so very ME! And it's smaller than it appears in the photos. Surprisingly, I saw five large guys driving away in it. All of them were hunched over and looked somewhat uncomfortable, but I'm sure it was worth the discomfort to travel in cuteness.

Hello Kitty Bento

Adult Comics

Credit: Sean

Medical Alert

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever, DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes: Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately notify five friends about this medical. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Credit: Sean

Bizarre Comparison

I was working at my desk, enjoying a lollipop, when Fong called my name. I turned and he took my picture. Then he sent me this:

Fong, it's time you had your eyes checked.

Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture"

Warning About Red Lobster Restaurants

This one sure took me by surprise. No, I did not check this out with snopes, but please feel free to do so.

Warning! Be careful if you eat at Red Lobster restaurants.

A young woman was having a meal at the restaurant and suddenly began to experience intense chest pains. Nothing her friends or the restaurant personnel did would relieve the pain.

911 was called, an ambulance was sent and the woman was transported to a nearby hospital where doctors removed the woman's blouse.

As soon as this was done, emergency room personnel were able to properly diagnose the cause of the pain ...

Click Here (NSFW)

Credit: Sean

Hoarders

Here's an interesting 20-minute film about people who are possessed by their possessions. I got rid of a bunch of my stuff after watching this.

San Jose Stealth

For the first few months of each year I complain about having to go to San Jose Stealth games with Arnon, but that's not the intention of this post. This year, I only had to go to the season opener so I don't really have much to complain about.

The reason I bring up the Stealth at all is to share the middle picture with you. During halftime, there was a ten-minute scrimmage between some local youth league and a team comprised of mascots. It looked like the furries had invaded the NLL. Creepy.

What is it with furries? I can't seem to go a day without having to hear a new story about them. And plushies? All I can say is please, no more!

And yes, I'm aware of the documentary entitled Plushies and Furries, and no, I am not interested in watching it.

Belated Easter Cartoons

Credit: Sean

Homeowner Sacrilege

Most people, regardless of whether or not they will ever use it, want a fireplace in their home. Not me. I've always hated how fireplaces, even the so-called "clean burning" ones, leave a thin film of soot on walls and furniture.

Even if I did like my fireplace, I'm not supposed to use it because of the lung and sinus problems I've had for the last decade. In fact, I'm not even supposed to use candles in my home.

So in an act of homeowner sacrilege, I asked my architect to remove the fireplace and chimney. He was initially shocked but ultimately agreed that it was a good idea (for our home, if not in general).

As the pile of broken bricks in the driveway grew and the workers walked on the roof to patch the hole where the chimney used to be, many people walking past our house stopped to comment that what we were doing was "interesting". I appreciate their tact in refraining from saying what I think was actually going through their minds, as evidenced by the looks on their faces—that we're crazy and will regret doing something that might lower the value of our house.

Despite the criticism, overt and otherwise, we're undaunted.

Interestingly, a couple from the street behind our house stopped by last weekend to say that they noticed our chimney being removed and wanted to do the same. Could we be starting a neighborhood trend?

Redneck Condo

Credit: Sean

Spiders Check In, Tobia Checks Out

One thing that made me very happy about the new house was that it was fumigated before we moved in. I realize that the fumigation process is quite harmful both to the environment and to our lungs, but it's very comforting to the mind. Well, at least my mind.

The other day, my sister asked me about the bugs in the house. I wasn't quite sure if she was referring to bugs in general or bugs due to the renovation, but I told her I wasn't too concerned because of the fumigation. She assured me that they would be back.

Well, they came back last night.

Around nine in the evening, Arnon jumped in the shower and then yelled for me to come over. He pointed to a spot where wall meets ceiling. There sat the largest spider I've ever seen indoors. Except for its brownish color, it looked more like a crawdad than a spider. Yick!

How does one kill such a creature, you ask? Well, it's a two-step process. First, all Tobias should run to another room and refuse to budge until the coast is clear. Then, Arnons need to beat the creature to death with a broom.

After the killing Arnon calmly resumed his shower. I uncalmly called my mother-in-law and asked if we could move in with them.

We quickly packed up what little we had in the house and headed over to the in-laws' house, where a room was already prepared for us. So sweet. By the way, it was so nice to sleep in a room with walls and a covered ceiling.

Don't Take Your TA for a Fool

Credit: Anuj

Helisoft

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window.

Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the airport and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Credit: Sean

Entertainment Center

Our house is small, with less than 1100 square feet of living space. To make the living room feel larger, we decided to get rid of our tv stand and create a recessed entertainment center between the living room and master bedroom.

I asked the architect to build me something with the functionality of the entertainment center on the left but made to look more like the one on the right, since we live in an old house and not a modern loft.

The new entertainment center is far from completed, as you can see, but the "bones" are in place and I'm anxious to see how it will turn out.

Victory is Mine ... I Mean His

When Arnon and I first bought our house, I made a list of all the things I wanted to build. He made a list of everything he wanted to destroy. In fact, just as soon as we got the keys to the house, he picked up a sledgehammer and started knocking down the patio cover in the backyard. Not only was it an eyesore, it was home to countless carpenter bees. Yick.

Once the patio cover was torn down, Arnon decided to attack the giant bush in the backyard. Unfortunately, it had some nasty roots. Arnon did his best to remove as much as possible with a shovel, pickax, sledgehammer, and crowbar, but ultimately our electricians had to use a jackhammer and a giant drill with a corkscrew tip to remove the last stubborn root.

I complain a lot about Arnon's proclivity for senseless destruction, but this time around, I'm happy with the results.