The Smith Holiday Party
Here are some photos from Andy and Yesenia's annual holiday party:
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Wes' Birthday Gathering
A few weekends ago, Wes' sister-in-law, Valerie, hosted a birthday BBQ for Wes' 29th birthday. Although it was Wes' special day, Tony's two Shiba Inu dogs were the center of attention.
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Blue Christmas
Wes and Arnon recuperating on the couch
It's been a blue Christmas for Arnon and me. I had the misfortune of coming down with the flu late last week and passed it to Arnon just in time for Christmas. How thoughtful of me, no?
Poor Arnon, it hit him harder than it did me. Just goes to show that I'm a stronger person than he is. :) We've been wondering if the flu shots we got a couple months ago failed us or if we would have felt even worse had we not had the shots. I'm inclined to think the latter.
Anyway, I want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas! I hope you create wonderful memories with your loved ones.
Painfully Bad Jewish Pick-Up Lines
- Don't worry, I won't passover you.
- Can I put out your burning bush?
- Let's do it Adam and Eve style behind some bushes.
- Once you go Jew, no Christian will do.
- You must not be kosher for passover because you're making my matza rise.
- I'll take you to the promise land.
- Hey whale, do you wanna swallow my Jonah?
- You had me at Shalom.
- Are you a pomegranate? Cause you just left a stain on my heart.
Photos from Farewell Gatherings
Tony, who has been part of my team for two years, left mid-December to go to a tiny, little-known company called Apple. Never heard of it, you say? Yeah, me neither. Anyway, we took him to Marvin Gardens for a farewell lunch. Though it was Tony's special day, I lucked out and got the loogie-encrusted glass of beer.
At the end of October, Mary, the only other Korean sister at the office, left for greener pastures at Yahoo. Interestingly, she now works on the same team as Dmitriy. What a small world.
Photo Credit: Fong
Photos
I'm behind on sharing photos so I'll spend the next few days posting them.
Arnon and Cho relaxing together (Dec 2007)
While delayed at the San Jose airport, we ran into Minh, who lived on the same dorm floor as Arnon and I did back in the day.
Fong with his special-ordered "Milton" stapler (Dec 2007)
How Engineers Ruin Christmas
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not usually visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household—a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second—3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them—Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 G's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
Credit: Roger
Touring San Francisco
Yaron from Israel was in California recently and he wanted to see a few places in San Francisco. So a couple weekends ago, Arnon and I took him on a tour of the city.
First he wanted to go to the MOMA, primarily to impress his girlfriend who is studying to become a graphic artist. Other than an ultra-modern exhibit entitled "Take Your Time" by Icelandic artist Olafur eliasson, we didn't like or understand anything else in the museum.
Next, Yaron wanted to see Union Square and stroll through Chinatown. I must admit that I was shocked by some of the things I saw, especially one store that had about a dozen large cages filled with hundreds of live birds ready for slaughter. I'm not a vegeterian and I do realize that animals have to be killed so I can enjoy meat, but it was just a shock to see so many birds cramped together. I felt claustrophobic on their behalf.
After Chinatown, we headed to North Beach to gorge on sushi at Sushi Hunter. Apparently, Arnon and Yaron had sushi in Israel earlier this year and Arnon thought the food was expensive and subpar. Yaron said that a 6-piece California roll costs roughly twelve dollars. Crazy! So, Arnon was determined to show Yaron a true sushi feast.
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After a traditional post-sushi stop at Stella Bakery for panna cotta and espresso, we spent the remainder of the day walking around Fisherman's Wharf, stopping at Pier 39 and Ghiradelli Square, to work our meal off. Just when we started to feel light again, we stopped for a Greek dinner.
Food is life, it's said, but it'll be the death of me and Arnon.
It's Dror's Birthday!
Dror (bunny), Arnon (astronaut), and Beast (?) — June 2007
Hey Dror,
It's been ten years since this photo was taken, but you don't look a day older. Fortunately, your fashion sense has improved. :)
Have a wonderful birthday!
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding ...
OLDER WOMAN: Is there a problem, Officer?
OFFICER: Ma'am, you were speeding.
OLDER WOMAN: Oh, I see.
OFFICER: Can I see your license please?
OLDER WOMAN: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
OFFICER: Don't have one?
OLDER WOMAN: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.
OFFICER: I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
OLDER WOMAN: I can't do that.
OFFICER: Why not?
OLDER WOMAN: I stole this car.
OFFICER: Stole it?
OLDER WOMAN: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
OFFICER: You what?
OLDER WOMAN: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
OFFICER 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
OLDER WOMAN: Is there a problem, sir?
OFFICER 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
OLDER WOMAN: Murdered the owner?
OFFICER 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car?
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
OFFICER 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
OLDER WOMAN: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
OFFICER 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a license and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
OFFICER 2: Thank you, ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
OLDER WOMAN: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Credit: Lisa
Sightseeing in Vegas
Arnon and I go to Las Vegas once or twice a year, so we feel like we've seen everything on the strip. So on our recent trip to Vegas, Andy suggested we go to Hoover Dam and Red Rock Canyon. It was wonderful to see something off the strip for a change.
Photos from our tour of Hoover Dam:
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Photos of Red Rock Canyon:
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Celebrating Wes' Birthday
To celebrate Wes' birthday, we decided to go to Las Vegas last weekend. We were supposed to leave Friday night after work and return Sunday evening, allowing us two nights of debauchery and two days of sightseeing. Unfortunately, a freak storm hit Vegas Friday night (we later learned that Vegas is in year eight of a long drought) and planes were prevented from landing in Vegas.
Thus, Richard, Wes, Arnon and I were stuck at the San Jose airport until 11:30 at night, at which point our flight got canceled due to the curfew. Andy and Yesenia were leaving out of SFO, so despite being delayed until after midnight, their flight did take off. As for us, we had to wait for the first flight the next morning.
Unfortunately, that flight was also delayed because of a mechanical problem. I have to admit that I was nervous to be on a plane with mechanical issues, but we did eventually make it to Vegas.
Once in Vegas, we were determined to stay active, despite not having slept in over 24 hours.
In honor of Wes, we had planned a gay-themed weekend over two nights, but had to cram everything into a single night. So we started with a nice dinner with an amazing view of the city at Top of the World Restaurant in the Stratosphere, then went to see "Mamma Mia", featuring songs by ABBA, at the Mandalay Bay. After that, we switched to casual attire to hit the gay clubs.
We started at Gipsy's, but it was lesbian night and whereas Yesenia and I had no trouble getting in, the guys got stuck at the door. So we headed to Krave, which was a lot of fun.
When I used to party in Vegas in my twenties, the clubs stayed open until seven in the morning. I was disappointed to discover that they now close at 4:30 a.m. What happened? One simply can't be expected to cram two nights of partying into one when the clubs close so early.
By the time we returned home, we were exhausted but content. Most importantly, Wes had a memorable birthday weekend.
Here are some photos:
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I forgot to mention that we had the most amazing Sunday brunch at the Wynn. It was all you can eat of the most scrumptious food for only $29! I was in heaven.
It was also great to hang out all weekend with Jason, who is a fantastic guy. He moved to Vegas in late summer but he's moving back to San Francisco soon. Yay!
Marc's Birthday
A few weekends ago, we celebrated Marc's birthday at La Fondue in Saratoga. Here are some photos from that night:
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Pigeon Point Lighthouse
Anuj came across this beautiful photo of Pigeon Point Lighthouse:
The crooked lighthouse bothered Andrew so he fixed the photo:
