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Dodgeball

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Credit: Anuj

There Are No Ugly Women

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Credit: Anuj

Recommended Words

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Credit: Anuj

The Hello Kitty Version of Yesenia

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Man's Most Desired Skirt

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Credit: Anuj

Anger Management

!I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Dylan. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

He said, "Yes, it is."

I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oak tree Blvd. It's a yellow rambler and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

He said, "My name is Don Hansen."

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

He said, "Hello."

I said, "You're an asshole!" But I didn't hang up.

He asked, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He screamed, "Stop calling me."

I said, "Make me."

He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, a yellow split-level. I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don, and you'd better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called asshole #2.

He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, asshole."

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

I said, "You'll what?"

He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd.

I quickly got into my car and headed over there. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

Now I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

Credit: Anuj

It's Sean's Birthday!

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Toilet Training

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Credit: Sean

Hmph, Kids These Days

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Credit: Ricardo

Sneaky Bird

! A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.

The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.

Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.

The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he's become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

Customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny.

Credit: Dror

Thank You All

 

Thank you, my friends, for all of the e-mail and important information shared through cyberspace. I am not sure who sent me what, but ...

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I haven't slept for nearly two years, because I have been up all night waiting for Mars to get as big as the moon.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number (90#) for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day.

Oh, by the way ...

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

 

Credit: Lisa

Point Pinos Lighthouse

Last weekend, we visited Point Pinos Lighthouse in Pacific Grove, located at the northern tip of the Monterey Peninsula. It is the oldest continuously operating lighthouse on the West Coast, since 1855, and gets its name from the pines that used to grow almost to the water's edge. Sadly, the pines have been replaced by a golf course.

Point Pinos was not on Arnon's original list of fifteen lighthouses but I'm glad we went anyway because it was beautiful and the weather was perfect. Plus, we had a charming lunch in Carmel and Ghiradelli sundaes in Cannery Row.

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Piedras Blancas Lighthouse

A couple weekends ago, we visited Piedras Blancas Lighthouse, our 14th lighthouse in California. It should have been 14th out of 15, but somewhere along the way Arnon expanded the list to 18.

Piedras Blancas Lighthouse is located in Cambria, just a few miles north of Hearst Castle in San Simeon. It took us about three and a half hours to drive there. To see the lighthouse, you have to join a tour which starts at the Hearst Castle Visitor Center. Our group consisted of about 50 people, three dozen of whom belonged to Model A Ford clubs.

The tour lasted two hours and was led by several guides dressed in period costume. They were knowledgable, charming, and the information they shared was very interesting. The weather was also perfect.

The highlight of my day, however, was a scrumptious dinner at Mission Ranch Restaurant in Carmel, a restaurant owned by Clint Eastwood.

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How to Undress in Two Seconds

Credit: Anuj

The Spinster

On her 70th birthday, an old spinster decides it's time to finally get married. Since she has no hot prospects, she decides to run this ad in the local newspaper:

"Seventy-year young virgin seeks husband. Must be in same age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and MUST still be good in bed. Apply in person."

The next day, her doorbell rings and when she opens the door, she is dismayed to see a gray haired man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs.

She asks the man, "Do you really expect me to choose you? You don't even have any arms or legs!"

The old man replies, "Well, I don't have arms so how could I beat you?"

The woman agrees and asks him to proceed. "I don't have any legs so how could I run around on you?"

She agrees again and replies, "But how could you, without any arms or legs, possibly be good in bed?"

The man smiles and says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I!"

Dumb Joke That Made Me Chuckle

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What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Megasaurass

Is This Not the Cutest Beanie?

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The Scent of a Woman

This is a very strange product. Click on the image for more information about this Eau de Twatlette. Definitely inappropriate to view at work.

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Credit: Sean

You've Got Some 'Splaining To Do

Yesterday, Sabine wore the cutest shirt with this image of the milkman's kid on the front:

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Converting NSFW Images to SFW

Credit: Anuj

Tard

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My favorite new word is the somewhat derogatory term lactard, which, as a play on lactose and retard, is someone who is lactose intolerant.

I know it's been in use for ages, but it's new to me and it amuses me.

By the way, I am not a lactard.

Actually, I like the word tard in general. Arnon and some of his hockey buddies all call each other Tard, which gets confusing when I listen to their stories:

"Tard showed up at Tard's house with Tard and that other Tard from the talentless rink ..."

Sorry, I don't follow.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

The Foxes

Arnon often says that the universe robbed him of his true identity. Apparently, he was supposed to be the product of a Japanese mother (for the cuisine, which is his favorite) and a Canadian father (for guidance in hockey and lacrosse). Four year old Kai, the son of Todd and Mika Fox, who are Canadian and Japanese respectively, is the embodiment of Arnon's true identity.

Arnon's been saying for a few years now that he should have been Kai. Strange, in a Terminator 2 kind of way. But hey, if Todd's cool with it, I'd be happy to exchange Arnon for Kai. :)

Here are some photos from a recent BBQ at the Fox home:

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Perspective, Part 2

To add to the post about perspective from the other day, here's a video clip from Andrew that made me feel smaller and more insignificant as the video progressed.

Credit: Andrew R.

Old Photos

Our front door was painted yesterday, and somehow that made us think about how after being burgled and enduring the mold crisis in Berkeley, we had few pre-digital camera photos left. So we decided to scan them immediately before anything else happened in our apartment that could destroy the prints.

It didn't take us long because there are only 37 of them. Here they are:

The Early Years

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Tobia's 5th Birthday

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Davis – February 2001

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Cho's 60th Birthday Party – August 2001

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Minnesota Trip – May 2002

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CAL

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Giant Tuna

Check out these giant tunas that Ray caught recently. I wonder how long it would take a person to eat such a large fish.

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Speaking of Ray, he and Angela recently tied the knot. Hurray! Angela's dress is the prettiest wedding dress I've ever seen.

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Photographic Evidence

A family was on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15-year old son decided to go scuba diving. The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience.

The son wanted a pic of his mum and dad in all their gear so he got the underwater camera on the go. When it came to taking the pic, the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was alright.

The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could, so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK. When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat. When the parents asked why he said, "There was a shark behind you." The dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true and that they wouldn't believe him if he told them what it was.

As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop and this is what they saw: see photo

Credit: Lisa

Perspective

Credit: Lisa

Some People Shouldn't Sit Next to Each Other

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Credit: Anuj

Goths at Disneyland

Fong came across this article and said that it reminded him of me:

Bats Day at Disneyland

When the Happiest Place on Earth plays host to the saddest people on Earth — and the line for the Haunted Mansion is longer than ever

Read Article

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Sushi and Paul Mooney

We had our monthly sushi gorge at Sushi Hunter last Saturday, which was fabulous as usual, then went to see Paul Mooney at Cobbs Comedy Club. Mooney was probably the least entertaining comedian I've ever seen perform live, and yet it was still a fun experience overall.

Here are some photos from that evening:

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As usual, there were no photos of me and Arnon together, so we took some self-portraits. It took four tries to get it right.

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Mendocino

Arnon and I had planned to spend the entire Labor Day weekend in Mendocino, but we had to return early to attend a wedding. Thus, we had to stay at a Super 8 Motel in Fort Bragg since most of the bed and breakfasts require a two-night minimum stay. Our room looked clean enough but despite the chilly air, we had to sleep with the fan on because the room smelled like the worst kind of ass.

Fortunately, we spent the majority of our time outdoors. Here are some photos:

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Dove at First Sight

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It's a tale straight out of Disney - an abandoned baby monkey, close to death, is revived by the love of a bird.

The 12-week-old macaque was rescued on Neilingding Island, in Goangdong Province, China, after being abandoned by his mother.

Taken to an animal hospital, he was weaned back to physical health but still showed little appetite for life.

It was not until a fellow patient, a white pigeon, took him under her wing and showed him love and affection that he perked up.

Now the two are inseparable, say staff.

They are not the first odd couple. In March, we told how a tiger cub in China was being raised by a sow along with her piglets because his mother didn't know how to feed him.

And in 2005 Mi-Lu the baby deer became best friends with lurcher Geoffrey at the Knowsley Animal Park, in Merseyside, after being rejected by her mother.

Credit: Sean

Yay, Anuj!

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Halftime Show

Note: Some company networks appear to be blocking this video clip.

Credit: Lisa

Cracks Me Up

These two things crack me up.

First, I googled my name and the sixth listing on the results page was for Marc's site. Take a look:

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Obviously, this is a reflection of the way Google scans pages and has nothing to do with my friendship with Marc. When I told Marc about this, he said he was embarassed and surprised that he hadn't gotten hate mail from my fans. :)

Second, Dmitriy was at a novelty gift shop when he came across a Bigfoot/Sasquatch doll. He was surprised to see that the doll's face resembled Beast's face.

The photo on the left is of the doll. What do you think?

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Dmitriy and Polina

A couple weekends ago, Arnon and I attended DM and Polina's wedding at the Temple Emanu-El in San Francisco. It was a beautiful affair and it was wonderful to catch up with people we haven't seen in a while.

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For me, the highlight of any wedding is the wedding cake. Throughout the service, I kept thinking about the cake and when I finally laid my eyes on its beautiful form, I hoped with all my might that time would speed up so we could rush through dinner and get to cake.

Unfortunately, things did not turn out as I had hoped.

As many of you know, I am a person who can handle liquor. Vodka, gin, rum, beer, wine ... bring it on. But I met my match that night in the form of Armenian brandy. One could argue that it wasn't so much what I drank but how much of it I drank, but that's just nonsense. Besides, you can't say no to a drink when people are toasting, even if the object of the toast has nothing to do with the source of the celebration.

Anyway, when doing shots, I'm always careful to count how many I've had and I distinctly remember having shot number sixteen. I just don't remember anything after that.

Early the next morning, I woke up feeling chipper and a little surprised that I was not hung over. But then it hit me ... in my drunken state the night before, I had missed out on wedding cake! The horror! I started wailing to Arnon that after much anticipation, I had missed out on the highlight of the wedding.

"What are you talking about?" he replied. "You had three slices."

Could it be true that despite intoxication, I fulfilled my obligation to myself and indulged in wedding cake? Does it still count if I don't remember having any? Also, how rude of me for greedily consuming three slices.

Interestingly, I discovered that my dress and coat from the night before were clean and folded nicely on a chair. Arnon's clothes, however, were not so fresh. (Arnon, by the way, was the one sober adult at the wedding.) I was shocked to see that the entire length of the left side of his shirt was covered in what I first thought was poo but turned out to be chocolate from the wedding cake. How he could have possibly gotten so much chocolate on himself without karate chopping the cake is beyond me.

Anthony and Elina

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All-You-Can-Eat Ribs

Did you know that Mondays are all-you-can-eat ribs night at Armadillo Willy's? Apparently, Fong has been desiring to go for three years but there were no takers. Then I came along. I love ribs!

So we went last night and despite my pompous claims that I would out-eat everyone, I couldn't even finish my first (and only) plate of ribs. For shame!

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Fong successfully feng shui-ed his organs between rounds to squeeze in some more ribs. I have much to learn.

Also, Andrew broke a tooth while biting into cornbread. That's some hardcore cornbread.

Funny Shirts

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Credit: Fong

WTF?

This is some seriously crazy shit.

Police Bust Israeli Neo-Nazi Ring

Aron Heller | Associated Press | 2007-09-09

Police said Sunday they have broken up a cell of young Israeli neo-Nazis accused of a string of brutal racist and anti-Semitic attacks, videos of which were played on television to a stunned national audience.

The eight suspects, all immigrants from the former Soviet Union in their late teens or early 20s, are seen in the videos kicking victims on the ground to a bloody pulp, hitting a man over the head with an empty beer bottle and proclaiming their allegiance to Adolf Hitler with a Nazi salute.

Sixty years after the Nazi Holocaust killed 6 million Jews, incidents of anti-Semitism continue to outrage Israelis and the discovery of such violence in their own country dominated morning radio shows and made the front pages of newspapers with headlines such as "Unbelievable."

Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, who viewed the footage with his ministers at the weekly Cabinet meeting, called it "violence for the sake of violence."

"I am sure that there is not a person in Israel who can remain indifferent to these scenes, which indicate that we too as a society have failed in the education of these youths," he said.

While Israel has experienced isolated incidents of anti-Semitism in the past, police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said the arrests were the first time an organized cell has been discovered.

The eight youths, who immigrated to Israel as children, were arrested over the past two months in connection with at least 15 attacks against religious Jews, foreign workers from Asia, drug addicts, the homeless and gays. A ninth member has fled the country, he said.

A court decided Sunday to keep the suspects in custody on assault and vandalism charges.

All eight had loose connections to Jewish heritage. They did not identify themselves as Jews and their families had come to Israel to escape hardships in the former Soviet Union, police said.

Under the Israeli "law of return," a person can claim automatic citizenship if a parent or grandparent has Jewish roots. Authorities say that formula allowed many Soviets with questionable ties to Judaism to immigrate here after the Soviet Union disintegrated.

About 1 million Soviets have moved here since the early 1990s, making up a significant part of Israel's 7 million citizens.

Olmert warned that the acts of the few should not tarnish the great achievements of the Russian immigrants, who include doctors, professors, scientists and Cabinet ministers. "I stress that we should not implicate an entire community and engage in generalizations," he said.

Cabinet Minister Eli Yishai of the ultra-Orthodox Shas party said he would propose taking away the suspects' citizenship. Several others suggested amending the law of return.

Ironically, Israel doesn't specifically have a hate crimes law, and the case has also drawn calls for new legislation.

The arrests drew condemnations from the Anti-Defamation League, a U.S.-based group that fights anti-Semitism, and Israel's Yad Vashem Holocaust memorial.

"The tragic irony in this is that they would have been chosen for annihilation by the Nazis they strive to emulate," the ADL said.

"While this is a marginal and extreme case, it is nevertheless intolerable," said Yad Vashem Chairman Avner Shalev.

The young men covered their faces with their shirts during the court hearing Sunday, revealing Nazi-themed tattoos on their arms. Some of the men had tattoos of the number "88," code for "Heil Hitler" because "H" is the eighth letter of the alphabet. Others wore tattoos of Celtic crosses β€” a symbol adopted by white supremacists β€” and barbed wire fences.

The gang documented its activities in detail on film and in photographs. Israeli TV stations showed grainy footage of the gang attacking victims with their fists, feet, buckets and bottles, leaving blood-splattered floors in their wake. The youths, whose faces were blurred or covered with Nazi insignia, also posed with German flags and giving the Nazi salute.

Authorities also found knives, spiked balls, explosives and other weapons in their possession, Rosenfeld said.

Police discovered the ring after investigating the desecration of two synagogues that had been sprayed with swastikas in the central Israeli city of Petah Tikva more than a year ago, Rosenfeld said. Police computer experts determined the group maintained contacts with neo-Nazi groups abroad, and materials seized include a German-language video about neo-Nazis in the U.S.

The group leader was identified as Eli Boanitov, 19, of Petah Tikva β€” known as "Eli the Nazi," police said. "I won't ever give up. I was a Nazi and I will stay a Nazi. Until we kill them all I will not rest," Boanitov was quoted as saying in a police statement.

Amos Herman, an official with the semiofficial Jewish Agency, which works with the government to encourage immigration to Israel, called the gang a group of frustrated, disgruntled youths trying to draw attention by striking at the nation's most sensitive core.

"We thought that it would never happen here, but it has and we have to deal with it," he said.

Speeding

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Credit: Sean

Confusing Sign

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A sign in South Wales warning drivers about the dangers of trusting their satellite navigation devices in an undated image. The signs, introduced by authorities in rural St Hilary, in the Vale of Glamorgan, South Wales, to warn drivers about placing too much faith in the directional gadgets, could be brought in across the country if the trial is successful.

Credit: Marc

Illusion

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Look at the images above. Mr. Angry is on the left and Ms. Calm is on the right. Get up from your seat and move back 12 feet. Presto! They've switched places.

Credit: Lisa

This didn't work for me. You?

Interesting Tidbits

 
  • Scientists say the higher your I.Q., the more you dream.
  • You use 200 muscles to take one step.
  • The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
  • Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
  • A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.
  • A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
  • The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
  • The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
  • It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
  • The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
  • Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
  • At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
  • The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
  • There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
  • Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
  • The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
  • Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
  • When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. They do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
  • Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.
  • Your thumb is the same length as your nose.
 

Credit: Lisa

Hurray for Richard!

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Girls Are Like Fish

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Credit: Roger

Village Idiots

Century Village unit criticized for spending $11,000 to alter elevator for Sabbath

Joe Kollin | South Florida Sun-Sentinel | August 29, 2007

The day of rest is causing some unrest at Century Village East in Deerfield Beach.

Most of the 56 owners in Berkshire E are Orthodox Jews barred for religious reasons from pushing the buttons on their elevator during the Sabbath, which runs from Friday evening to Saturday evening.

They persuaded their board to spend $11,000 to convert the elevator so it automatically stops on each of the four floors during the Sabbath.

But two of the owners, who are also Jewish, are angry their money will be used for a religious accommodation.

"I respect their desires, but why does the building have to pay for this?" asked snowbird Nicki Goldstein, 69, from her New York City home.

By law, however, everyone who buys in a condo community agrees to submit to the will of the majority. About 85 percent of the owners are Orthodox. On the Sabbath, they are not allowed to do anything that would create energy, such as drive a car, turn on a light or push an elevator button.

Those owners purposely bought in Berkshire E because it is an easy walk to Young Israel synagogue of Deerfield Beach, said association president Mark Sussman, who isn't Orthodox.

The board held at least three meetings with unit owners before casting the unanimous vote to take the money — which comes out to about $200 per unit — from the treasury.

But the board "felt our vote wasn't good enough so we sent letters to every owner," said board member Seymour Kleiman, 86. "Of the 56 owners, 50 gave us approval outright, two said absolutely not and the others were wishy-washy, they didn't care."

"I'm on the second floor and don't mind walking up, but we are a family here and since 50 members of the family approved, we're going ahead with it," said Kleiman, who is also board chairman of Young Israel.

The only reason it hasn't been done yet is that "we're just waiting for the elevator company," Sussman said.

Steven D. Rubin, chairman of a Palm Beach County Bar Association real estate committee, thinks the board may have overstepped its boundaries.

"I don't think the board should take a position on spending association funds for religious purposes, regardless of what the majority wants," he said.

But state condo ombudsman Danille R. Carroll said, "There is nothing in the statutes that would not allow a board to do that. It's at the board's discretion.

"And the way they did it is a good thing; you want a board to get input from owners," she said.

What constitutes improper backing of a religious activity by a condo or homeowner association has been debated for years. Every case is different.

Two years ago, a federal judge ruled a Port St. Lucie homeowner association was within its rights to ban religious services in its clubhouse as long as it was applied equally to all religious groups.

Last year, the Sun of Baltimore reported a brouhaha over an attempt to convert one of two elevators to a Sabbath elevator. After the board voted 5-3 against it, a Baltimore council member in May introduced a bill to prohibit buildings from adopting rules that deny reasonable accommodation for practicing one's religion. No decision has been made.

Sandra Bronner, a survivor of the Auschwitz concentration camp, doesn't want to pay for the Sabbath elevator in Berkshire E.

"It doesn't matter if I have to push the button or not," the snowbird said from her home in Toronto. "If a majority of people are religious, let them pay for it. And I'm Orthodox."

Nicki Goldstein, who said she plans to become a permanent resident, said she won't fight the board's decision because she doesn't have the resources, doesn't want to upset the residents any further and doesn't want more association money spent on the issue.

"Nonetheless, I think the board's action is out of bounds and I can't accept any rationale that supports the whole building paying for a personal religious choice," she said.

Rabbi Pesach Lerner, executive vice president of the National Council of Young Israel, the New York-based organization that coordinates 150 Orthodox synagogues in the country, said the minority must submit to the majority in condos.

"The definition of condominium is communal living," he said. "If a board decides to paint a building, I may not want it painted but everyone must pay so I have to pay. A majority of people voted for the elevator. I think it's unfortunate that people can't accommodate their neighbors."

Credit: Fong

Daily Fix

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In the early evening, after everyone else has gone home for the day, Wii enthusiasts (aka addicts) gather in Fong's cube for their daily fix.

How NOT to Use PowerPoint

Credit: Andrew

By the way, check out Seth Godin's Blog to read his excellent post entitled How to Make a PowerPoint Chart.

It's Ryan's Birthday!

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Happy Birthday, Ryan!

P-O-P-C-O-R-N

It's the end of an era and I'm sad for it.

Time of day calling it quits at AT&T

August 29, 2007 | David Lazarus | Consumer Confidential | latimes.com

It's the end of time, at least as far as AT&T is concerned.

The brief note in customers' bills hardly does justice to the momentousness of the decision. "Service withdrawal," it blandly declares. "Effective September 2007, Time of Day information service will be discontinued."

What that means is that people throughout Southern California will no longer be able to call 853-1212 to hear a woman's recorded voice state that "at the tone, Pacific Daylight Time will be ..." with the recording automatically updating at 10-second intervals.

"Times change," said John Britton, an AT&T spokesman. "In today's world, there are just too many other ways to get this information. You can look at your cellphone or your computer. You no longer have to pick up the telephone."

Indeed, time already has stopped in 48 other states, he said. California and Nevada are the two remaining holdouts.

In Northern California, the prefix for calling time is 767, or P-O-P on a telephone keypad. For decades, locals up there have dialed POPCORN any time they have had to reset their watches or reprogram electronic gadgets after a power failure.

"In California, our equipment has gotten old," Britton said. "It's reached the end of its life span."

Time's up statewide Sept. 19. Britton said Nevada service would live on borrowed time for an unspecified period, until the equipment in that state similarly starts breaking down.

One upside: AT&T says doing away with time would enable the creation of about 300,000 new phone numbers in California beginning with the 853 or 767 prefixes. (No such numbers have been issued to date because, when coupled with any four other digits, you get time.)

To be sure, time marches on. Yet for many Californians, the looming demise of the "time lady," as she's come to be known, marks the end of a more genteel era, when we all had time to share.

"It was always there," said Orlo Brown, 70, who for many years kept Pacific Bell's (and subsequently SBC's) time machines running in a downtown Los Angeles office building. "Everybody knew the number."

Richard Frenkiel was assigned to work on the time machines when he joined Bell Labs in the early 1960s. He described the devices as large drums about 2 feet in diameter, with as many as 100 album-like audio tracks on the exterior. Whenever someone called time, the drums would start turning and a message would begin, with different tracks mixed together on the fly.

"The people who worked on it took it very seriously," Frenkiel, 64, recalled. "They took a lot of pride in it."

In a twist of historical irony, Frenkiel went on to play a leading role in development of the technology that makes cellphones possible -- the very device that's now instrumental in killing time.

Phone companies have been providing the time to callers since the 1920s. In the early days, live operators read the time off clocks on the wall.

In the 1930s, an Atlanta company called Audichron devised a system for the time to be provided automatically. Audichron leased its technology to phone companies nationwide, often with sponsorship from local businesses.

Time ladies -- and a few gentlemen -- came and went over the years. Then, in the 1950s, a woman named Mary Moore emerged as the nation's leading time-teller.

Her reading of hours, minutes and seconds was delivered in a distinctive if somewhat prissy tone. Moore's odd pronunciation of the numbers 5 ("fiyev") and 9 ("niyun") influenced a generation of operators, much as flying ace Chuck Yeager's West Virginia drawl is said to have been adopted by innumerable airline pilots.

By far the most prominent time lady was Jane Barbe, who succeeded Moore at Audichron in the 1960s. A former big band singer, Barbe (pronounced "Barbie") went on to become the voice of recorded telephone messages in the 1970s and '80s in the United States and elsewhere.

Along with her interpretations of the time and current temperature, Barbe delivered the bad news too, telling you that circuits in a specific area were busy, please try again later, or that your call cannot be completed as dialed.

And who will ever forget her heartbreaking rendition of "I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service"?

Barbe died of cancer-related complications in 2003 at age 74. It's estimated that at the height of her fame, Barbe's voice was heard worldwide about 40 million times a day.

AT&T's Britton said the company started using Audichron's machines in 1948 and then switched to a different system manufactured by rival Weatherchron, also of Atlanta, in the 1960s. He was unable to identify the current time lady, saying that perhaps no one at AT&T knows who she is.

Ellis Bryant, the 83-year-old president of Weatherchron, also was unsure whose voice Californians hear when they call time. So he dialed 853-1212 and listened to the recording.

"Oh, that's Joanne," Bryant said without hesitation. "Joanne Daniels. No doubt about it."

He said Daniels started recording the time for Weatherchron about 25 years ago. At some point after Pacific Bell switched to his company's system, Daniels became California's time lady.

Reached at her Atlanta home, Daniels, 65, estimated that her reach was once nearly as extensive as that of Barbe, who was a friend. Daniels is now retired.

"I've done the time in many areas -- Eastern Standard Time, central time, Pacific time," she said. "The fun part was doing the temperatures for places like Alaska."

Daniels switched to her professional voice, her soft Southern accent instantly vanishing. "At the tone," she said, "the temperature is minus 12 degrees." She laughed and her accent returned. "I liked that."

No one had told her that AT&T was about to stop time.

"I think that's very sad," Daniels said. "I was told at one time that my voice would last until well into the 21st century. Now it looks like I'm about to be laid to rest."

When that day comes, Daniels said, she knows what her epitaph will be: "She knew the time."

Credit: Micki