Tobia Ziklik

One of the best things about Israeli hotels is the breakfast buffet, which in my experience is rivaled only in Vegas, and even then only in terms of selection size. Plus, breakfast in Israel is included when you book a room.

At our hotel in Tel Aviv, we filled our plates and sat out on the balcony, eager to enjoy our warm breakfast while looking out on the Mediterranean Sea. Unfortunately, I was distracted by the noisy ladies at the table beside us complaining in Korean that everything they tasted was too salty. When I got up to get seconds, I overheard several men grumbling, also in Korean, that despite everything they’d heard about how amazing food in Israel is, they found everything, including the fruit, to be too salty. What was wrong with them? Too salty? Do these people not realize how incredibly salty Korean food is? If anything, you’d think they’d complain that the food was too bland.

After breakfast, we checked out of the hotel and headed south to the Negev. On a map, Israel resembles a diamond shape stretched lengthwise. The southern half of the diamond is the Negev, comprised of several deserts. Not too many people live there and it’s as hot as hell, but it’s wonderful to drive on its empty two-lane roads.

Our first stop was Be’er Sheva, to see Abraham’s Well, which is located in the courtyard of the local tourist office. It’s not much to look at but it is actually quite deep.

Then we went to Tel Be’er Sheva National Park to see the 3000-year old ruins of a planned city. It was cool to wear hard hats and walk down into the ancient cistern.

Our final stop in the area was the Air Force Museum in the neighboring town of Hatzerim. It was really noisy there because fighter pilots were training in the air above us.

Arnon had hoped to see his favorite plane from childhood, the Lavi, whose development he followed even while living in Switzerland, and sure enough, there it was near the F-16 fighter jets. He was ecstatic! I, too, was ecstatic, but about the coffee-flavored slushie we were sharing. Definitely the best I’ve ever had!

Following a scrumptious lunch of falafels in pita at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, we headed south to Sdeh Boker to see David Ben-Gurion’s desert home and to the edge of a canyon to see his final resting place.

Ben-Gurion was the first prime minister of Israel and seems to have deeply believed that developing the Negev was important to Israel’s ultimate survival. So he retired to a kibbutz in the middle of the desert to do whatever it is that former prime ministers do, and asked that his home in the kibbutz remain as he left it at the time of his death.

I always thought the residences in a kibbutz would be like cabins, but the ones in Ben-Gurion’s community were more like bunkers.

Ben-Gurion’s Memorial is located at the edge of a beautiful white-washed canyon. We saw dozens of ibexes roaming the memorial site, and even saw two of them slam their horns into each other, like you see on National Geographic. Arnon was hoping to see an extended battle, but fortunately the smaller ibex walked away. I find the sound of horns clashing to be unnerving.

On route to our final destination for the day, we passed by Avdat, the fourth-century BCE Nabatean city. It was perched high on a hill and closed to the public. Apparently, the film “Jesus Christ Superstar” was filmed there.

Some time in the late afternoon, we finally reached the tiny town of Mitzpe Ramon, situated at the edge of Makhtesh Ramon, the world’s largest crater. The crater is beautiful (my pictures do not do it justice) and the story of how it was formed is really interesting, but it’s really hot there. The townspeople were covered head to toe (it seems Mitzpe Ramon is an Orthodox town) and yet appeared to be dry, unlike me.

At the edge of Mitzpe Ramon is the largest alpaca and llama ranch outside of South America. I had always assumed that the words alpaca and llama could be used interchangeably, but I was wrong. Llamas are tall with serious dental issues, and alpacas are small, feisty and absolutely adorable.

We were allowed to feed the llamas but were warned to feed each one discreetly or risk being spat on by their irritated pen-mates. Despite his best efforts, Arnon got spit on. Yick!

The ranch also had donkeys, horses, camels and rams. You could ride most of the creatures (obviously not the tiny alpacas) but there was no way I was getting on any of those stinky creatures.