On her 70th birthday, an old spinster decides it's time to finally get married. Since she has no hot prospects, she decides to run this ad in the local newspaper:

"Seventy-year young virgin seeks husband. Must be in same age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and MUST still be good in bed. Apply in person."

The next day, her doorbell rings and when she opens the door, she is dismayed to see a gray haired man in a wheelchair with no arms or legs.

She asks the man, "Do you really expect me to choose you? You don't even have any arms or legs!"

The old man replies, "Well, I don't have arms so how could I beat you?"

The woman agrees and asks him to proceed. "I don't have any legs so how could I run around on you?"

She agrees again and replies, "But how could you, without any arms or legs, possibly be good in bed?"

The man smiles and says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I!"